Are You Ready to Be Coached?
Unlocking Your Potential for Success
When are you ready to be coached? Sometimes, the timing isn't right, or you aren't in the right frame of mind to put yourself first—which is what being coached requires. That's part of what makes it uncomfortable for people. They are so used to focusing on others and putting their time and effort elsewhere that they feel vulnerable when the spotlight is solely on them. Yet likely this pattern of deferring attention on personal/professional fulfillment creates the impetus for change. Inevitably there comes a time when we ask, "Where am I going?", "What do I want?" and "What will it take to get from here to there?" This is when getting additional support and clarity helps—working with a credible, credentialed coach will dramatically accelerate your ability to level up to where you want to be.
In Brenda Steingberg's Harvard Business Review article, "Are You Ready to Be Coached?" she discusses seven characteristics of successful coachees.
If you are considering working with a coach but don't yet meet these criteria, here is how we can help:
Tolerance for discomfort: While this is a good criterion to test, the irony is that a client has likely experienced discomfort before engaging with a coach. They may feel stuck, restless, frustrated, or anxious to accelerate what they want, which is part of the catalyst for coaching. We want to end the discomfort, and successful coaching does just that, which is the "carrot" to accept aspects of the coaching process that may feel a bit uncomfortable.
Openness to experimentation: I wholeheartedly agree with asking yourself how willing you are to play with different approaches to drive new results. It can be as simple as "pressing the pause button" for someone who habitually says "yes" (and later regrets it) to changing up major pieces of your routine to maximize your optimal productivity windows. Trying new techniques needs to be embraced and is often fun and refreshing.
Ability to look beyond the rational: A wise person once said, "Emotions Trump All," which is mostly true, yet understanding why this is true is where the real gold is. Emotions, in and of themselves, are neutral. How we assign value, judge, or avoid them is where things go sideways. Looking at what's behind a pattern often unlocks the clarity to choose a new path.
Capacity for forgiveness: This is a big one, as many infractions seem unforgivable. Forgiveness doesn't mean it is right; it means you will free yourself from the pain and discomfort of wanting to change what can not be changed. You forgive to free up mental and emotional capacity to utilize what's ahead for you, not what's happened in the past.
Self-discipline: The concept revealed in the article on self-discipline is one I see continuously with my clients. It's the "what got you here is not going to get you there" syndrome. It's utilizing your self-discipline in new ways to break rote behaviors or expectations to elevate your leadership to heightened levels of success and fulfillment.
Ability to ask for support: When we enroll others in our growth, our level of accountability increases. We also feel supported, and whether you need to lean on that support or not, knowing you have someone to rely on makes you feel more confident and empowered. For leaders who have difficulty asking for help, I often reframe by asking how it feels when people ask for support or when they feel needed and valued. Don't deny others that feeling of wanting to help, as it brings deep connection and value when we say "yes" to letting others share in our journey.
If you are looking at your 2023 leadership or team goals and need a catalyst to make it happen by year-end, reach out. HICC's Coaching and Leadership Development Training can help you find your unique, high-performance success formula and quickly get you where you want to be.
